The best April Fools’ Day joke is one that isn’t a joke. I give you, most seriously, the announcement that Chris gave us at dinner that night. I repeat, this is NOT a joke:
Chris: “Cortona has unfortunately been hit by a bad infestation…of caterpillars.”
[Announcement is paused while everyone in the room erupts into hysterical laughter]
Chris [trying to ignore laughter]: “These caterpillars, while looking like your normal variety of wooly-woolies, are dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.”
[More laughter – we try not to fall off our chairs]
Chris: “I’m serious! [trying vainly to impress upon us the gravity of the situation] These caterpillars will shoot their spikes into your skin. This hurts and gives you a bad rash. It's not fun.”
[Still no success in getting us to stop laughing]
Chris: [valiantly persevering] “If you were student teaching in the elementary school this morning, then you saw the teachers freak out and set the caterpillars on fire.”
[?!?!?!? A ripple of shock and then we’re gone once again, laughing our heads off. This time the entire teachers’ table is laughing just as hard as us, including Chris.]
Chris: “Seriously though, if you see them, do NOT go near them! If you’re wearing flip-flops, don’t even step on them! Their spikes can go through your shoes. And another warning…they travel in colonies. So if you see them, they’ll be in a long line.”
[A long line???]
Chris: "Oh yeah...and don't go in the gardens next to Severini...they live in the trees and can drop down on your necks. It would be painful."
[Definitely the best April Fools’ Day announcement. Ever.]
….five minutes later….
Spencer (creative writing teacher): “…oh yeah! And once you skin them,” [he raises his fork up with the dinner meat on it] …they taste pretty good!”
[Everyone groans]
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